Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Covid 19 & Societal Trauma

 The staggering loss of life and the ensuing trauma to almost everyone in our society is mind boggling...  for each person who has passed approximately 9 others are grieving...  that number is astonishingly painful...  


On top of it our front line medical workers are traumatized as well...  few are trained to help people die...  they are trained to help people recover & live


We need to come together as a society to help people heal however we can as individuals...  whether it’s cooking for someone who is ill...   donating $$$ to organizations that help...  planning zoom meetings for family members to connect...  organizing virtual game nights with friends...  sending small pick me ups to those living alone...   smiling behind the mask at strangers...  helping those who can’t sign up for vaccines 💉 


Whatever we can do...  each act of kindness like a pebble in a pond❤️


Thursday, December 31, 2020

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021

 HAPPY NEW YEAR


This has been the year of change...  isolation for some...  growth for others... sickness, loss and loneliness for many...  we are here to shout WE ARE ALIVE as this difficult year finally comes to a close...  


There have been lessons to learn...  families to appreciate...  friends to miss...  masks to wear... dry skin from constant hand washing...  moments of unbridled joy and times of crushing sadness...  missed birthdays and weddings...  summers of outdoor small gatherings and holidays apart.  


We haven’t all made it through to the other side.  Let those of us who have  take a moment to remember the 1,800,000 folks who have passed from covid worldwide...  344,000 right here in America...  as we move forward with hope into 2021.  


Here’s to a vastly better year ahead...  a new administration...  a new vaccine to help against covid...  and most importantly...  hope...  to each of us...  a wish...  may you have enough...  cheers to 2021 🥂🍾❤️


Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Tools... Ever Present in Our Lives... Giving Us Hope

 What is it about remembering to use our tools that is so difficult? 

We learn them...  we practice them...  we are committed to making real changes in our lives...  visible improvement happens.  And yet... as time passes we seem to forget how important practicing and using our tools truly is for our recovery to not just continue...  but to grow and blossom.  

Maybe we get a little cocky...  we have been working on ourselves diligently for a long time.   We have seen and experienced substantial improvement in our relationships.  We have grown beyond our last guide post.  We are cured!  How true is the saying...  man makes plans, God laughs?   

And then it happens...   something unexpected...  and we find ourselves repeating old dysfunctional patterns...  running around the same codependent drama triangle.   But this time it IS different.  We can SEE the reality of our situation much sooner...   before we go all the way down the chasm again we are able to slam on the brakes...  take a deep breath and STOP.  

We are capable of looking in the mirror...  seeing how we have so casually stepped back from our path... momentarily lost our way.  Ah, but there is hope...  our tools are ever present... all we have to do is apply them and we are back on track...  practicing discernment...  setting boundaries...  practicing self care...  and asking for help.  

We are truly blessed to be part of the recovery community...  supported in our quest for healthier relationships and a balanced life.  



Monday, November 16, 2020

The Trauma of Pandemic Fatigue


Feel like getting out?  

A strong desire to forget about precautions?   

Travel to another place to escape?  

Just have some fun...  see friends...  get drunk...  forget it all?


You’re not the only one...  we all feel it...  low level depression...  isolation...  lack of social interactions... lack of physical touch...  loss of interest in hobbies...  pastimes...  life seems one dimensional...  dull...  no spark...  nothing to look forward to with a long winter ahead and the only light at the end of the tunnel is a vaccine available in the spring of next year...   ~sigh~

Does it help to know you’re not alone?  The world is once again facing a raging pandemic infecting in excess of 600,000 daily...  currently 55 million cases worldwide...   more than 1.3 million souls lost...  more than 11 million right here in the US...  with over 135,000 deaths.  

Of course we are overwhelmed...  frightened...  fatigued.  Our defense mechanisms... in an attempt to protect us from the devastation surrounding us...   gives us a false sense of security when we are with people we love and trust...  folks we see frequently...  “they couldn’t possibly get me sick”...  in our effort to deal with reality our defenses lie to us.   

This is the essence of pandemic fatigue.   Our cerebral cortex, usually capable of discerning truth from fiction, has left the party and we are in the hands of our old brain...  our reptilian brain...  the part of us that reacts to stress and trauma via fight, flight, or freeze.   Well...  the bad news is we can’t fight a virus with fisticuffs or verbal tirades...  we can’t flee... no where to go.  So, we freeze...  our feelings...  our sensibilities and our capacity for self care.  Just the opposite of what we need to do to survive.  

There is a way out...  reaching out to others...  we are all in the same boat...  talking with a counselor who can help...  pursuing simple tasks that require small effort for big rewards (baking bread)...  getting some fresh air and exercise by taking a walk (mask on!) or raking leaves...  volunteering to help others in a way safe for yourself...  journaling...  practicing gratitude...  remembering that this time will eventually pass and that others have survived pandemics before us...  and finally remembering that people we love depend on us to practice self care and stay safe so they can hug us when this is all over 😷💕

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Stress, Fear, Isolation and Tools During a Pandemic

It’s been a long time since I have posted to this blog...  more than a year...  and what a year it has been.  

A mad election season coming to a close in just 20 days...  a pandemic that has killed over 205,000 Americans thus far... and is seemingly getting worse with no clear end in sight.  It feels as though reality has been turned upside down and inside out.

How do we practice self-care during times of great stress?  Tools become lifelines as we feel overwhelmed...  frightened...  lonely...  and stressed all at once.   Trying to fight the fear and stress can lead to an inability to function.  We are better served by making a plan to protect ourselves and those we love...  preparation is key.  Purchasing supplies for upcoming needs...  taking time for self care...  maintaining healthy eating habits...  getting much needed outdoor activity...  making sure we get sufficient rest.   All these areas of care are vital...  especially now.

Purchasing supplies for upcoming needs...   hand sanitizer...  disinfectant...  paper products...  masks...  dry food goods that store well...  medication supplies...  vitamins and minerals...  all these items stored carefully and safely decrease stress levels.

Taking time for self care...  daily showers or baths...  personal grooming...  wearing clean clothing...  socializing safely via video chat or phone conversations...   utilizing social media in helpful ways such as pursuing  hobbies or interests with a group of like minded individuals...  making fun videos to share with friends...  watching humorous films that provide comic relief...  engaging in hobbies that require significant engagement and concentration...  playing games with family members.

As an example...  during this pandemic I have set up and maintained a greenhouse...  a hobby I have enjoyed on a smaller scale for many years, that has blossomed into an avocation.  Beside the benefit of growing produce that we consume, the greenhouse has become an oasis of peace and calm where I can relax and enjoy away from the problems of the world.  

Each of us must find our own way during this time of crisis and stress...  some way to hold on to our unique gifts and translate them into a path forward... not just for ourselves...  but for humanity at large.  We all have something valuable we can contribute to making our world a better place...  we each must find our own piece of the puzzle that fits into the larger vision.



A single nasturtium flower in brilliant scarlett blooms in an unlikely place in mid October 2020 

Thursday, March 28, 2019

How Did We Get Here?

We are living in a time of great division in America.  We all wonder, “What is the root cause is for the extreme views on both side of the political spectrum?”  “How did we get here?”  On September 11, 2001 we were attacked.  In the aftermath of that attack we were one of the most united countries on earth… people supporting one another… giving generously to help… shedding tears together for the great loss we had sustained.  What happened during the intervening 18 years to divide us so? Could we possibly have forgotten how united we were?

A story I recently heard may help to enlighten.  Three people sit at a table.  One is extremely wealthy… a multi billionaire… one is a minority… one is a an average income earning white person.  In the center of the table there is a plate of cookies.  The billionaire takes all the cookies but one.  He then leans across the table and says to the two remaining folks, “That person who is different from you, is going to take the last cookie”.  The two remaining people then glare at each other effectively blaming one another for being the one to leave the other with nothing.  This is a picture of our current political and economic situation.

The United States is one of the wealthiest countries on this planet. We do not have a lack of natural resources or funding.  We are being deluded by the wealthy into believing that we must choose between taking care of our citizens or funding our military.  We are being told that we cannot afford Medicare, Social Security, Medicaid, money for education, funds for the disabled, adequate healthcare and much more. In truth we can afford it all.

We have been bullied and lied to by the wealthiest families in America to believe that there is a scarcity of funds when in reality, the wealthiest families merely want all the cookies. They have lied to us again and again. They have stolen from us in the form of economic policies that enrich the wealthy and steal from the poor and middle-class.  They have created a tax policy that allows the entitled and super wealthy to steal from the rest of the American citizens.

They have used hate and bigotry as tools to promote scarcity and division.  We do not have a scarcity problem in our country… we have a stealing problem in our country.  American citizens are subject to the whims of the super wealthy who purchase politicians and cable news outlets to promote their agenda.

This is not a problem on one side of the aisle or the other, one political party or the other… there are wealthy patrons on both sides who promote scarcity to achieve their agenda.  We have been sold a series of lies beginning with trickle down economics… deluding us into believing that the wealthy will share their money with the rest of us through their success in business, when they receive their breaks for business and personal income taxes.  I am certain that none of us actually believe that this is true.

I am an Amazon prime customer.  I love the convenience of shopping from home and receiving my goods within two days. I have no plans to cancel my prime account.  however, I am not deluded into believing that Jeff Bezos gave his employees a raise to $15 an hour because he got a break on his income taxes. He did it because he was shamed into it by press coverage.  I am not suggesting that Jeff Bezos is a bad person. He is at the moment, the wealthiest man in the world.  I don't feel that he should have to give up his money however, he should pay taxes above $50 million in wealth at a higher rate.  “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required,".

The capitalistic system in America is a gift to those who have the genius and foresight to utilize it. That gift exists because we have balance. We are currently out of balance and need to rebalance our economic and social systems.  I have no desire to live in a communist or socialist country. Capitalism and democracy are my chosen forms of government. I do however, believe in a social safety net to keep the poorest among us living a decent quality of life.  No one in our country should live in abject poverty, or without access to quality health care, and no one in our country should be able to skirt the law and steal from the citizens of the United States without consequence.

To those wealthy families who believe that their power and privilege entitles them to step on the backs of the poor and middle class to achieve their ends I remind you that you are not royalty, and in the end even royalty fell to their knees when they ceased to protect those serfs who lived in their midst.  It is only a matter of time before people become disgusted with the lies and agendas brokered to them by politicians and cable news talking heads and take action to protect the economic and social values that created our great nation.

Using the politics of division, scarcity, bigotry and fear may work in the short run but the price it will extort in the long run will far outweigh any short term benefit.  The United States needs leaders who believe in the special nature of our country and are willing to defend its values against the super wealthy… “ for the love of money is the root of all evil…”

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Desensitization & Information Overload

What happens to us when we are overloaded with information…  the constant deluge of news during this political climate about topics ranging from nuclear war to human rights abuses chips away at our ability to process on a daily basis.

Some of us become desensitized and freeze our feelings due to the continuous overload of traumatic events.  Some of us become enraged and choose to lash out at those we once respected and admired.  Some of us choose to hide from the constant barrage and tune out as an act of self-preservation.  Some of us claim we no longer care or have faith that the political climate can improve...  and finally, some of us go along with political choices we once thought unimaginable to refrain from making waves.

Of course there are also those who act in ways to attempt to correct the myriad of issues that plague our country...  however...  with such vastly opposing views and animosity continually fed to us via media in all forms...  it has become difficult to tell where the truth actually lies.

How do we begin to help ourselves deal with this era of information overload without becoming numb or losing our ability to care?

We must practice self care...  discernment about accepting information from unreliable sources as fact... and learn to check our motives.

Are we adding to the fray just to be right?
Are we lashing out online where we can be relatively anonymous?
Are we losing our ability to see others viewpoints as possible?
Are we forgetting our manners when attempting civil discourse?
Are we forgetting that we are all capable of being wrong?

We must find a way to engage in civility once again and begin to see others as people...  rather than as  victims, persecutors or rescuers...