Wednesday, September 21, 2016

VOTE... dammit!!

To the non-enthusiastic millennial voters

I get it, you're just not jazzed up about voting, because you're not feeling it. You believe a vote should be of value, and therefore if you're not enamored with the choices, why bother.

Simple: People died for your right to vote.

Look, we were all younger once, and felt that way, hell, even Billy Joel wrote a song (Angry Young Man) a generation before even mine that included the lines:

I once believed in causes too
I had my pointless point of view
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right

We were all you, we get it.

But here's the thing. It matters. Your vote matters. Every vote matters. If you're not impassioned by either candidate, well, honestly, suck it up.

Life isn't here to please you at every single moment in time. It's not here to serve you based on your needs. Get out of your own self and vote, because it's critical to the future, to my future, to your future, and to the future generations.

Voting is a right, and you benefit (and suffer) from the outcome of the votes of others. So choosing not to do it is allowing others to control your life. Now, we all know, you don't like how that sounds, do you.

Vote out of respect, vote out of disgust, vote out of anger or disenfranchisement. But vote. Because you can.

You're likely closer to the college years than I am, so it's reasonable to expect that you're pretty fresh when it comes to math. Use it. Do it. See if voting for a third party will make a difference. If you're choosing to do that because you want a vote, ok, I understand that, but that distaste and disgust you're trying to avoid by not voting for the candidate you hate but also not voting for the one you just don't trust or like.... try math. It means you're voting for the one you hate.

And that makes you just as responsible for the outcome as if you had voted for the one you hate.

And lets just be clear here for a minute: There isn't a choice of equals in the two main party candidates. There just isn't. It's not an opinion, it's facts.

Don't go tit for tat, that's not how mature adults act. I know, it's confusing, because it's what you see on all the news channels, but they're all just afraid of being sued, and focused on getting ratings.

But lies aren't truths, and opinions aren't facts. You know this, you just learned this in school.

Don't forget it. What you learned in school matters. Shit, look how much you paid for that knowledge, so don't just throw it away. Recycle your knowledge, and apply it, reuse it. DIY-it, and don't just trust the sound bytes, use your critical thinking skills.

Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm with Her. I've always been with Her. Since I voted for her husband, and especially since that time back then when she said she's not the type of woman to stay home and bake cookies and have tea parties.

But I'm not with Her because she's a her, I'm with her because she's amazing. She's accomplished, and collaborative, and is human, and gets shit done. She's living history, and she's already changed your millennial lives without you even knowing the impact she's had on it.

Look at who she is, what's she's done, what she's accomplished in her life. See the threads of what she fights for, and what she stands for. It's not about pneumonia, it's not about transparency. It's about decency and competence.

So if you're not enthused, so what. I've voted for the lesser of two evils many times, that's part of life. I've had to make choices that don't suit my immediate needs, that in the long run pay out. So do it.

Life isn't about appeasing you, it's about you making the right choices, that extend beyond just you. Your vote can affect millions of people, billions, potentially, across the globe, as you vote for the leader of the free world. It's not about you being pissed off about Bernie, or testosterone levels, or not telling you about pneumonia because you think you had a right to know to make an informed decision.

You didn't. Just as you don't have a right to know how long it takes one to take a piss (to ostensibly gauge the risk of an enlarged prostate).

So vote, vote on what matters, but look it up, on multiple sources, like you did in college, because we don't have journalists anymore, we have pundits, and that means they don't have to be objective, and THEY aren't held to the standards of truth and transparency that they whine about.

Use your insanely expensive college knowledge and skills to learn and educate yourself, because the answers that are handed to you are someone else's gains, not yours.

Make the effort. Vote. People died so you could...
Laurissa Doonan

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

A Moral Decision

I don't often re-post others material...  but I find that Brandon's words strike a chord within me that cannot be ignored...

An open letter to Donald Trump...
Mr. Trump,

I try my hardest not to be political. I’ve refused to interview several of your fellow candidates. I didn’t want to risk any personal goodwill by appearing to take sides in a contentious election. I thought: ‘Maybe the timing is not right.’ But I realize now that there is no correct time to oppose violence and prejudice. The time is always now. Because along with millions of Americans, I’ve come to realize that opposing you is no longer a political decision. It is a moral one.

I’ve watched you retweet racist images. I’ve watched you retweet racist lies. I’ve watched you take 48 hours to disavow white supremacy. I’ve watched you joyfully encourage violence, and promise to ‘pay the legal fees’ of those who commit violence on your behalf. I’ve watched you advocate the use of torture and the murder of terrorists’ families. I’ve watched you gleefully tell stories of executing Muslims with bullets dipped in pig blood. I’ve watched you compare refugees to ‘snakes,’ and claim that ‘Islam hates us.’

I am a journalist, Mr. Trump. And over the last two years I have conducted extensive interviews with hundreds of Muslims, chosen at random, on the streets of Iran, Iraq, and Pakistan. I’ve also interviewed hundreds of Syrian and Iraqi refugees across seven different countries. And I can confirm— the hateful one is you.

Those of us who have been paying attention will not allow you to rebrand yourself. You are not a ‘unifier.’ You are not ‘presidential.’ You are not a ‘victim’ of the very anger that you’ve joyfully enflamed for months. You are a man who has encouraged prejudice and violence in the pursuit of personal power. And though your words will no doubt change over the next few months, you will always remain who you are.

Brandon Stanton, author
Humans of NY

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Rape? Really? What's next?

With all the media frenzy surrounding Hillary Clinton's emails there is a question that has stuck in my mind for the past week that isn't seeming to get answered...

WHY is there no investigative reporting regarding the lawsuit filed on June 20, 2016 in Manhattan Federal Court regarding the sexual assault and rape of a 13 year old child by Donald Trump?

I am not pleased with our choice of candidates this election cycle...  however...  I am strongly opposed to have a pedophile in the White House!  I believe we all deserve to know if there is any merit to this lawsuit and I am asking the press to do their due diligence and search out the facts!

It is vital that we get answers to this matter prior to the November election.  To those in the media...p,ease do your jobs and give us accurate reporting on this very troublesome issue!

Here is the link to the court papers...

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Relationships & Bank Accounts

Relationships are like bank accounts...if we only make withdrawals eventually the relationship goes bankrupt. Here's how to turn withdrawals into deposits...
Don't believe that two wrongs make a right...     
revenge doesn't work...
Don't have excessive expectations for those closest to you...
everyone has issues...
Don't blame others for your feelings... 
practice self care...
Don't take people for granted... 
do the little things...
Don't judge people to quickly... 
you have no idea what the truth is...
Don't hold onto hurts... 
forgive quickly so they don't become bitterness...
Don't make excuses for your actions... 
take personal responsibility...
Do follow through on commitments... 
make you word mean something...
Don't allow pride to control you... 
learn to apologize... 

Love is an action verb...
don't wait to be loved before loving back...

Saturday, December 5, 2015


In the face of the news of the attack in San Bernardino, American Muslims are becoming victims of fear and hate. 

Today in a store while shopping I saw a middle aged woman wearring a head scarf and shopping with her head down. She looked so forlorn and alone. I approached her and asked if she was a Muslim. She looked up startled and shyly said yes. I asked her if I could give her a hug. With tears in her eyes she said yes. As we hugged in the aisle of the store she sobbed quietly and said,"We are not all like them, you know." I nodded and replied, "Neither are we." 
If each of us is willing to show caring and concern for our fellow citizens...even just one at a time...we can prove to those who would try to terrorize us that we are stronger than their attempts to try and make us hate!

Please feel free to repost this story.  Thank you!!

Monday, November 30, 2015

What Does it Mean to Love?

What does it mean to love another person?   Does it mean we must always agree?    Does it mean  that we merge with them and lose our individuality?    Must we give up what makes us unique to be in a relationship?

When we enter into a relationship, whether it is with a partner or a friend, our goal is to bring ourselves as a whole person to that relationship.   If we are practicing self-care and are centered in our being we can bring ourselves to our relationship as a gift.   If, however, we are not yet at the developmental stage of being ready for interdependence... we may unwittingly hurt either ourselves or our partner.  Interdependence requires us to be willing to be vulnerable.  That can be frightening...  especially if we have been hurt in the past.

Old wounds have a way of coming to the surface as soon as we feel ourselves becoming vulnerable.  Our instincts scream out to protect ourselves from further pain as our fears loom overhead.  We must practice our tools at those times and not allow ourselves to sabotage our relationship by succumbing to our fears and insecurities.

We breathe...  we ask ourselves, " what am I feeling right now?"...   we focus on positive self-talk...  we allow ourselves a moment to think before reacting...  and finally we respond sharing our fear with our partner in a safe non-judgemental way using "I" statements.

When we communicate in this manner we are showing our partner by our actions and words that they are just as important to us as we are to ourselves.  That is a powerful message of love.

Must we always agree?  No, of course not.  But we must defend our values with calmness, respect and clarity always focused on the issue and not denigrating the person.  It is important to disagree without being disagreeable...  especially when you love your partner and want to avoid creating pain or shame.

Should we merge with our partner, giving up our uniqueness?  No.  Each of us is valuable and loveable as we are today.  We may have areas that need growth or change, but that does not mean we are defective in any way.  We are working toward a goal of becoming...  not a goal of perfection.  We love our partner as they are... giving them the space to grow and mature.  That is not only a gift to them, but a gift to ourselves, as we receive what we give in our relationship.

Using our tools and focusing on ourselves and how we can improve our own lives gives our relationship the gift of life and our partner the ultimate gift...  unconditional love.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Violence, Extremism and Self-care

Recently there has been significantly more violence in our own country and throughout the world.  Each event evokes a new wave of feelings…  helplessness, anger, bitterness, frustration and fear.

It is displayed on television and heard on the radio over and over again in vivid detail, causing us more anguish and creating more fear.  It has been shocking to see human beings devolve into hate and bigotry.  Somewhere along the way we seem to have forgotten that we are all part of the human race.

Recovery demands that we continually ask the question when challenges occur, "How did I contribute to this mess?".  Shouldn’t we ask that question in the face of the violent acts we witness today?  We are so eager to take three steps backward and point the finger at others to assign blame.  Why?  Why do we default to blame, bowing to fear, instead of confronting our own issues when difficulties arise?  Is our recovery so fragile that we cannot look ourselves in the mirror and have enough courage to see the truth?

In allowing ourselves to take the easy path of blame and fear we create more problems than we solve.  By not taking the route we know to be the road of recovery…  self evaluation…  we add more obstacles and create more barriers.

The answer is deceptively simple.  Each of us needs to be self responsible.  Instead of trying to control outcomes and others we need to take the more difficult step of self-control.  Although it is simple, it is not easy to practice self-control and effective boundaries.  For many of us our default position is to try to “fix it”.  Although we know this is not the correct path.  When we are frightened and overwhelmed it is easy to backslide.

We must, as part of the human race, realize that our actions and words have consequences.  We cannot blame innocents for the actions of others simply because they may share either the same race, religion or sexual preference.  We must begin to view our actions as others see them…  not just through the myopic lens of bigotry.  It is imperative that we embrace the values we know in our beings to be valid and not succumb to fear and blame.

All human beings are valuable.  All human beings are fallible… including us.  When we come to realize that we are part of the problem we are ready to find a solution.  So long as we believe we are without fault we can continue to play the role of victim.

By practicing self-care and using our tools we can avoid becoming stuck in the victim role and can experience the warmth and love we each have to offer the world and the human race.