Sunday, October 27, 2013

A Gift Or A Burden?

How do we enhance our recovery?  How do we avoid back sliding into old habits?  What do we do when we discover...  to our chagrin...  that we have backslid and are once again caretaking?

There are many ways we can stay plugged into the recovery community and the multitude of benefits that it breathes into our lives.  We can attend whatever meetings are available to us that meet our needs.  We can join a group of like minded thinkers... whether that means group therapy or just a group that gets together and has coffee and shares.  We can read recovery material.  There are unlimited avenues to pursue both in print and online.  We can find a sponsor...  a guide...  to lead us through the maze of recovery and keep us in check.  We can practice greatfulness...  a vital part of recovery.  And finally, we can find others with whom we can learn to play.

One of the ways we can avoid backsliding into old habits is to remain open to the observations of those with whom we associate every day...  our partner...  our children...  our coworkers...  our friends.  Some comments may sting, but we must believe in our hearts that the lessons learned are worth whatever momentary discomfort we may experience.  We can choose to make note of their words in the moment they are spoken and wait for another time when we are alone to think through the comment.  Is there some validity to the message?  Are we crossing another's boundaries?  Are we caretaking when we should be allowing others to do for themselves... even if that may cause them to suffer consequesnces we wish them to avoid?  When we are honest with ourselves we will know the correct answer to these and any other questions that may require an answer. 

We must avoid isolating...  pulling ourselves apart from that which we know is healthy...  friendships...  recovery tools...  taking time for self care...  learning to play.  When we continue on the path that we know is in our best interests we will be at peace with ourselves and a gift to those we care about.  In this way we practice self care and bring ourselves to our relationships as a gift...  not a burden.