The hardest part about splitting up isn't leaving the person... it's saying goodbye to all the hopes and dreams we had when we met.
One of the exercises we are given is to take a pretty box... whether we buy one at a $1 store or make one ourseves, it doesn't matter. We can use a favorite urn, vase or any covered dish if we like. I use a ginger jar with a cover that I made in a ceramics class. Some folks use a family heirloom that has meaning to them. Whatever you choose will work for you.
We hand write all our hopes and dreams we had for our relationship on a couple of sheets of our favorite note paper. The more we cherish the note paper the better. If you aren't into pretty note paper, that's okay. Any paper will do. It is important that we write this exercise ourself. We absorb more of what we are doing when we use multiple senses, sight, touch and hearing.
We read over what we have written aloud. It should be a comprehensive list of all the dreams we had for our relationship and the future we thought we would have together. We say a prayer to let go of them all. We listen to our heart. If our feelings begin to come to the surface, we allow ourselves the time to feel whatever is within. We let ourself grieve as fully as we need.
We empty the trash bin underneath our shredder. We put the sheets through our shredder then collect them from the trash bin and put the shredded sheets in the God box. What ever we place within is what we are giving over to our Higher Power.
This is an exercise in letting go. We shred the sheets as a symbol of the fact that once we give them to our Higher Power we won't take them back. We place the sheets in the box and say a brief prayer, finally giving these hopes and dreams to our Higher Power.
When we enter into a new relationship we create new hopes and dreams, we don't revive the old ones... but first we have to let go of the ones we already created to make room for new ones.
We make a God box for ourself and use it frequently, whenever we have to let go of something. One of my favorite authors, Melody Beattie, once said... "I never let go of anything that didn't have claw marks on it."
Me too...
Monday, November 16, 2009
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