What do we do when we feel that in love feeling changing in our relationship? Does that happen to everyone? Does it mean our relationship is over, or doomed?
When we first meet our partner we feel excited, we look forward to our next time together with great anticipation. We enjoy our shared experiences and tend not to notice each others flaws. We are in love.
If our brains were scanned in an MRI during this early phase of our relationship while looking at a photo of our new partner, we would show the same type of energy patterns as obsessive compulsive disorder.
Thinking about this we understand that this makes perfect sense. We are obsessed with our new romance. We are compulsive about our appearance and the condition of our living space. We think about our new partner almost all the time. This level of energy is pleasant and exciting, but in the long term unsustainable. If all goes well, eventually our relationship matures into one of committed intimacy.
Some of us are troubled by the change in feelings. We may not understand that these are normal,. healthy, mature feelings that grow out of the initial lusty times we shared in the beginning of our new partnership. If we believe that our relationship is in trouble we may make foolish choices, leaving to again find that in love sensation we found when our interactions were new.
We need to come to understand that the changes in emotion are what we seek. We do want the security and stability of a long term committed intimate relationship. That is were we may flourish both as individuals and partners.
Being in love with the in love feelings causes some of us to fly from relationship to relationship, never finding what we truly seek... the love of self and the intimacy of a mature partnership. We are worth more than just a flash in the pan. We are worthy of true deep intimacy. We can find what we seek.
Remember... we attract who we are, not what we want.
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