Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Listening To Our Gut

Loss of faith in our ability to discern is one of the many areas we must grieve as we recover from the trauma of the ending of a relationship.

Yes, we can initially believe that we were deceived... but eventually we will recognize that we also played a part in the deception. We stopped practicing self care. We neglected our own gut reactions for so long that we lost touch with that inner voice... the one that tells us when something isn't quite right... long before the relationship with the partner began.

We learned our habit of ignoring the elephant in the room when we were kids in our family of origin. Then, when we went out looking for a mate, we took our dysfunctional self on the road. We may very well have been deceived... but we picked the deceiver because we learned to turn off our early warning system as kids.

When we begin to practice self care and discernment... learning to trust those who are actually trustworthy... we will restore our broken picker a little at a time. We didn't become broken overnight... we won't heal overnight.

Patience... it takes a long time to rebuild trust in ourselves... in our ability to discern when we are being fooled. We have to learn to trust our gut again... to get back in touch with our body and listen to it's signals. Most of life's communication (over 80%) is non verbal... our gut reads that language fluently.

Listen to it!


  1. 100% yes! I was 'sick to my stomach' for a year because I wasn't listening...finally it became too painful, literally, to not listen. I will learn. I will listen. I will trust my guts.

  2. thanks for information.Really Counseling can help a lot.

  3. Thanks, I agree completely. These things need to be talked about and heard, it helps the process of healing run its due course. I've actually been looking for a company that does counselling in Surrey if anyone has any recommendations.

  4. HI Jake - Sorry I don't have any connections in the UK. Hope you find someone you connect with. Best - Lisa