Thursday, February 12, 2009


So many of us have been betrayed in our lives. Someone makes a promise, then doesn't keep their word. We are faced with our feelings: a combination of pain, anger, frustration, shame and loss. How do we cope in that moment when we realize we have been betrayed? We have a choice to respond rather than react with hostility or rage. We can take a moment to ask ourselves, "What do I need to do to take care of myself in this moment?" We use our tools: breathe, give ourselves permission to feel our feelings fully, write in our journal about the event, call a trusted friend to share our disappointment, and finally, accept that we cannot control the behavior of others. We focus on the moment, realizing that we are exactly where we are supposed to be in our lives and ask ourselves,"What lesson am I supposed to be learning from this experience?"

Betrayal has the highest cost in relationships. It dissolves the trust between two people. Trust can take months or years to develop, but betrayal can destroy it in a moment. Betrayal leaves wounds that are deep and lasting. Some wounds heal with enough time and personal growth work. Others create scars that inhibit a persons ability to be emotionally available. The choice, as always, is up to each of us to follow the path that creates the most joy in our lives.

No comments:

Post a Comment