Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Each day we make decisions that effect the direction our lives will take. Along this road of many forks we have opportunities to choose. Often the choices are not well marked and our path ahead may be unclear. We may not know the consequences of the choice we make. At those times we use our past experiences and instincts to assist us in making wise decisions. We use our tools and may rely on a higher power to help guide us through the maze. We hope that we have made the choice that is best for our future.

What action do we take when the path we have chosen has lead us to an unintended place? We recall our tools and begin with acceptance. We are not perfect and make mistakes. This is part of the human condition. Once we have realized our mistake, we take the necessary steps to correct it. We examine the situation thoroughly, making sure we fully understand all that has occurred. We assess all consequences. We make any needed amends, then take action to make corrections where possible. Finally, we make an amend to ourselves and move forward.

Moving on without shame or guilt is vital to self care. Since our choice led us to unintended consequences, we do not need to burden ourselves with shame or guilt. This is baggage that never permits healing. Shame keeps us locked into poor self esteem, since we feel we are not okay as a result of our choice. Guilt keeps us feeling responsible for making a mistake, when perfection was never the goal. As long as we continue to realize that all human beings make mistakes, we can continue to forgive ourselves, make needed amends, minimize the loss, and continue to practice self care using our tools. In this way we give ourselves the gift of increased self esteem, which when practiced as part of our daily lives, leads us to experience more joy in each moment.

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