Sunday, March 1, 2009


Why is it that some relationships flow with ease and others seem to smash themselves against the rocky shore? What is it about certain partners that make their efforts to get along work so well?

One of the many keys to effective interpersonal relationships is cooperation. When we cooperate with others we each take turns leading. At times we are the decision maker. At other times we defer to our partner. When differences of opinion arise we decide if our need to have what we desire, outweighs giving our partner an opportunity to have their wants met. We share, we take turns.

When we cooperate, we make our lives and our partners easier, more enjoyable. We employ our values in our decision making. We walk the walk in our daily lives. In this way we are making deposits in our partners emotional bank account. The more deposits we make, the healthier our relationship becomes. When difficulties arise and we need to make a withdrawal, we have made sufficient deposits to allow the issues to pass without damaging the relationship. This is vital for our long term emotional health. As we make deposits into our partner's emotional bank account, our self esteem increases. As our self esteem increases, so does our ability to make further deposits. We can focus on the needs of others without doing so at our own expense. We use our tools and practice self care in our daily lives giving us the gift of emotional health.

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