Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fathers Are Our Role Models

Happy Father's Day.

Here's some bad news. Children only bond with one person in their lives. That person is their biological Mother, and it happens during pregnancy while the child is in the womb. By the time the child is born it knows it's Mother's smell, taste and voice. It has known only her for the last nine months.

Now for the good news. There is another incredibly important connection called attachment. Lucky for Fathers!! Children become attached to their Fathers during the first few weeks and months of their lives. Once they have created a relationship based on attachment they are committed to both caretakers.

Attachment is one of the most fundamental aspects of our growth. We learn how to feel secure, independent, how to allow ourselves to be nurtured and cared for through attachment. When we become adults our ability to form constructive relationships emanate from the success of our earliest years. If our process of attachment was interrupted or dysfunctional in some way we may have trouble forming effective relationships as adults.

Many Fathers feel their role in their children's lives is unimportant. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Children may feel secure with one parent, but having the balance of two parents increases the odds of having an emotionally mature, healthy relationship of our own later in life.

Father's... don't underestimate how important you are to your children. They want and need your example of how to be a competent empathetic caretaker as a man.

Happy Father's Day!!

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