What Can A Counselor Tell Us We Don't Know?

What is the purpose of counseling? How does talking about our difficulties with a stranger help? Why should we share our private life with someone we barely know? What can they possibly tell us that we don't already know about ourselves or each other?

Do any of these questions sound familiar? Most of the time when partners come to counseling they approach it with very different views of what will take place. Very often the partner who wants to attend may expect that the counselor will defend their ideas to their partner. The reverse is also true. The partner who doesn't want to attend will expect they are going to be brow beaten by the counselor to accept their partners position.

It is important to stress that the counselors job is to listen carefully to both sides, facilitate empathetic communication between the partners and try to help them find an acceptable solution. It is not the job of a counselor to take sides in the dispute.

Making partners aware of the structure of counseling may ease some of the discomfort that arises when counseling is being sought. Since the goal of counseling is to help partners enjoy their relationship more fully, it is to the benefit of both to try it out. The ups and downs of relationships sometimes cause partners emotional pain. Counseling may ease the passage through the difficult times and help the relationship back into balance.